RECOVERY-LIGHT-LIFE

  "You have two choices...ride to the bottom or get up and start climbing again."           Mark Jorgenson "Life is a series of relapses and recoveries."           George Ade "Without the Redeemer, the inherent hope and joy evaporate, and repentance becomes simply miserable behavior modification."           Dale G. Renlund Before I left Desert Solace in March of 2017 Marilyn and I met with my therapist Ryan, who was the clinical director there at the time, during our last family weekend.  Among other things, we talked about the "aftercare" program Ryan and I had created.  This plan was a list of the many things I had agreed to do to keep me sober and keep Marilyn safe.  Well, keep me safe too.  Things such as exercise daily, eating breakfast (something I rarely had done before), living within the boundaries we agreed to (for example, no phone in the bathroom), and doing my "dailies"...a d...

  "Before the truth sets you free, it tends to make you miserable."           Richard Rohr "Things that go wrong can shape us or scar us... And when each of us looks back at all the turns and folds God has allowed in our lives, I don't think it looks like a series of folded-over mistakes and do-overs that have shaped our lives.  Instead, I think we'll conclude in the end that maybe we're all a little like human origami and the more creases we have, the better."           Bob Goff Yesterday was an amazing day.  We buried Marilyn's older sister,  Janice.  I know...it doesn't sound amazing, but it was.  See, you have to know Janice, or at least know about her.   She was only sixty-nine years old when she died rather suddenly last week, but she had not been in good health for a while.  She was the oldest of three children, and when she was younger...well, older too...she tended to be jealous of ot...

"The problem is not that there are problems.  The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem."           Theodore Isaac Rubin "Begin with the end in mind."           Stephen R. Covey "No experience will be the same as it was last time."           Shane Scott I remember as a boy playing darts in the back yard with my friend Galen.  We had a dart board hanging on a tree, and were throwing darts...yes, the metal tipped ones that were really sharp...at the target.  I somehow got myself on the other side of the tree, and it didn't take long before I got a dart right in the middle of my chest.  It startled me, it hurt, and it was just stuck there.  I looked down and had to pull it out.  Of course, there was no major damage, and it really didn't bleed much, and yes...it could have been much worse in an eye, or somewhere else.    But it wasn't....

  "Keep your word...Honor your word."                     Shane Scott "And God said..."                     Genesis, Chapter 1 Words have power and meaning.  While I was at Desert Solace I learned the power of words...of what we speak and how we say it...to ourselves and others. As an addict, words were meaningless.  I was the consummate liar...covering my tracks and always living in the fear of being found out.  And the more fear I felt, the farther from the truth I got.  So for years,  I was not to be trusted or believed, but nobody really knew that except me.  Living with lies begins to weigh heavy on your soul, and it did mine, and that was definitely part of being "past feeling"...not being able to recognize truth from fiction, and not feeling any guilt or remorse for living a lie every day.  Faking life. Choosing a certain word or words can ma...

  "We're here to experience life, not to understand it."                   Shane Scott "You're not a product of your circumstances, you're a product of your choices."                   Lynne Clark Brunson "Life is like a box of chocolates..."                     Forrest Gump I remember the first time at Desert Solace when Shane held out two dry erase markers and said, "chocolate or vanilla?  Make a choice."  We all looked at him like he'd lost his mind, but one of us finally said "chocolate".  Shane asked "why"?  "Well, I like chocolate better...it tastes better."  Shane..."No.  Choose again, that's a decision, not a choice."  What?!  I didn't get it.  What's the difference between a choice and a decision?  Aren't they the same thing?  Well, I learned over time that they are not the same th...

  "I am the light of the world"                     Jesus "It is not possible for you to sink lower than the infinite light of Christ's Atonement shines"                     Jeffrey R. Holland "It is my belief that He (Jesus) can bring light into even the darkest spaces and the best parts of our stories will be the parts where he enters in"                     Morgan Jones I remember vividly the day I returned home from my ninety days at Desert Solace...March 10th, 2017.  The inside of our home seemed so light...everything was just so much brighter than I remember.  It was weird, but so amazing.  As I thought about it, I realized I was seeing with new eyes.  I was sober, clean, and really paying attention for the first time in many, many years.  What a difference! As winter turned to spring in Saint George, th...

  "Our beliefs and fears result from our giving meaning to our experiences"                     Shane Scott "The enemy is fear.  We think it is hate; but, it is fear"                     Gandhi "You see, we're all living out a story, but then there's the story we tell ourselves.  We need to make sure what we're telling ourselves is the right story.  And the right story is, yes, God will give us more than we can handle.  But He always has eventual good in mind"                     Lysa Terkeurst We are all living a story.  Our stories...each and every one of ours...has power.  This is one reason a Twelve Step meeting works, because we are willing to open up, be honest, be vulnerable, listen to, and share our stories.  As we share, we also unload.  We can dispel the myth that "my story doesn't mat...