Shane Scott
"And God said..."
Genesis, Chapter 1
Words have power and meaning. While I was at Desert Solace I learned the power of words...of what we speak and how we say it...to ourselves and others.
As an addict, words were meaningless. I was the consummate lier...covering my tracks and always living in the fear of being found out. And the more fear I felt, the farther from the truth I got. So for years, I was not to be trusted or believed, but nobody really knew that except me. Living with lies begins to weigh heavy on your soul, and it did mine, and that was definitely part of being "past feeling"...not being able to recognize truth from fiction, and not feeling any guilt or remorse for living a lie every day. Faking life.
Choosing a certain word or words can make a huge difference. Just last month, President Russell M. Nelson invited us to live in gratitude, and for seven days to share what we were personally grateful for, using the hashtag #givethanks. Almost immediately, posts popped up on social media talking about his "challenge"...but it was not a challenge, it was an invitation. For me, there is a big difference between these two words. A challenge is like a dare...I really don't think you are going to do this, or I don't think you can do this. But an invitation is different...it is welcoming, gentle, and inviting. Would you send a challenge to friends to come to your home for dinner, or would you invite? Pretty obvious, right? Why are we so quick to turn an invitation into something else when it's not? I don't remember the Savior challenging anyone, but just always inviting...
What if we chose the word "opportunity" instead of "responsibility" or "duty", at least in a gospel sense. If there are just two commandments...love God and love people...isn't everything we do just an opportunity to live those commandments? It's all a choice, and when we live our lives looking for opportunities to love and to serve, it is so much better than worrying about all our responsibilities and then getting overwhelmed by them. Words have power and meaning...
In his book "The Four Agreements" Don Miguel Ruiz writes that the first agreement is to be "impeccable with your word." Right away we think, well, that's just being honest. It is, but that's really a small part of it. He explains that this is the most important agreement and the most difficult to live. Imagine a world where every person is completely honest! How would that be? But it's much more than that. It's how we say something...the tone of our voice, our inflection, as well as the words we choose. With one word we can change a meaning drastically, or with a certain tone we can sound angry, annoyed, or happy saying basically the same words. Are we aware of not just what we are saying, but how we are saying it?
He says..."Your word is the power that you have to create...The word is a force; it is the power you have to express and communicate, to think, and thereby to create the events of your life." Every time I think a thought...any thought...there are words involved. I'm talking to myself. I used to say the most horrible things to myself...words that I would never say to another person. I would belittle myself, berate myself, criticize myself, and put myself down. I was intolerant of any mistakes I made, and was sure to let myself know! What a hot mess...
But isn't it true that we so often are our own worst critic? That we judge ourselves more harshly than anyone else judges us? And it seems that we are disappointed with ourselves much more than with anyone else.
Last week I was installing some new light fixtures on the front of our house, and there were small black caps for the screws that hold those lights on the wall. I was on the ladder working, over a planter full of dirt, mulch chips, and leaves, telling myself "don't drop one of these caps!" So, what did I do? Of course, I dropped one into the dirt. I saw exactly where it went, but couldn't find it. I'm on my hands and knees sifting through the dirt with Marilyn's help, and never saw it. All the while I'm muttering to my self "you're such an idiot!" Why? Why would I beat myself up over something that's really so inconsequential? And I know better now... It seems that this is the natural reaction for so many of us...that somehow if we really berate ourselves when we do something "stupid", it'll somehow fix it. If I feel really, really bad about what I did, and call myself names, I'm getting the punishment I deserve. Yeah, I know...it makes no sense. But we do it anyway, all the time.
Back to the lights...I talked myself into doing the exact thing I didn't want to do. I spoke it into happening. I created it, and brought it to pass. I've learned that our mind doesn't comprehend negatives. For example, in recovery I could say "I'm not going to watch porn." But my mind doesn't hear the "not". It just hears "watch" and "porn". So with that in my head the chances of success are pretty slim. But...if I tell myself "I will be sober today", I have a pretty good chance of staying clean.
The power of words...even unspoken ones.
I have no idea how God created this earth, but according to Genesis, he spoke it into existence.
"And God said, let there be light, and there was light."
"And God said, let there be a firmament...and it was so."
"And God said, let the waters under the heaven be gathered into one place, and let the dry land appear, and it was so."
"And God said, let the earth bring forth grass..."
Well, we get the idea. The "Word" created this earth and everything in it. The power of words...
And then we read in John, chapter one...
"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God..."
I think it's fascinating that of all the ways John could have introduced Jesus in his gospel, he used this term, "The Word". Why? It was Him who spoke this world into existence. There is great power and meaning in words...
If, in fact, I am a creator, what am I speaking into existence? What's been running my life? What lies have I been telling myself for so many years? And what lies have I been told...by parents, friends, leaders, bosses, and many others? How have I been programmed into thinking that I'm an idiot, not smart enough, not good enough, not tall enough, not handsome enough, not athletic enough, not focused enough, just not enough? I can create my own hell through my words, and others', or I can create my own heaven as a conscious creator...choosing words carefully. Being aware of my self-talk, and choosing words that build, support, and connect. I may not always be successful, but I can be intentional. I can think before I speak, even...maybe especially...when I speak to myself. And I can be aware of all the words spoken around me every day...
When we are impeccable with our word, we keep our word. Or we honor our word. When we say we will do something, we do it. When we say we will be somewhere at a certain time, we are there on time. That is keeping our word. When something happens, and gets in the way of keeping our word, we make a phone call or other arrangements...this is honoring our word. We do not just blow it off, or act like it didn't matter. Keeping my word is a very important part of recovery...and allows me to be impeccable. Words have power and meaning...
Don Miguel Ruiz wrote..."When you are impeccable (with your word), you take responsibility for your actions, but you do not judge or blame yourself. We must understand what the word is and what the word does. If you understand the first agreement, 'be impeccable with your word', you begin to see all the changes that can happen in your life."
"You can measure the impeccability of your word by your level of self-love. When you are impeccable with your word, you feel good; you feel happy and at peace. Use the word to share your love...beginning with yourself."
"Just this one agreement can change your whole life." It has certainly changed mine...
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