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WELCOME!

Welcome to Recovery, Light, and Life... I'm Chris Epson... If you are new here, you might be thinking "I really don't have an addiction.  Why would I be interested in reading this?"  That's a great question, and the answer is...you probably do.  Everyone has something they go to when life gets too hard, when the stress and pain is too much, when they just don't feel good enough, or when they are just living unconsciously.  It might only be diet Coke, romance novels, gaming, or food.  Maybe it's anger.  Maybe it's shopping.  I believe that we are in recovery from mortality and all the challenges that come with it.  Life is hard and it's intended to be.  But...life is also full of joy and love and peace and progress and Grace and growth and deep relationship with God and other broken people just like us.  So how do we experience more of that?  If we are, in fact, all living in recovery, th...
Recent posts

Taking the First Steps of Recovery...One through Five

 "I did not come for the healthy, but for those who need a doctor."           Jesus "How helpful it is to see sin, like addiction, as a disease, a very destructive disease , instead of merely something that was culpable, punishable, or 'mad God unhappy.'  If sin indeed made God unhappy, it was because God desires nothing more than our happiness, and wills the healing of our disease ."           Richard Rohr Mortality works.  It's designed to be difficult and to teach us lessons we could not otherwise learn.  It's designed to provide us experiences that point to, push, and pull us toward growth.  And because of that, it is hard.  Of course, not all the time.  We've been told that we "are" that we "might have joy."  So joy is the very purpose of our life, both now and in the eternities.  It always had been, and that's why we're here.  But some of of us are slow learners, and apparently I ...

CONNECTION...THE 12 STEPS OF THE ATONEMENT

 "The opposite of addiction is connection." "You are not kept clean by your obedience, by doing everything you can as perfectly as you can.  You are kept clean by your honesty about everything you can't do, about everything going wrong."           Christina Judd...from the book "All We Can Do" As I've written before, we are all addicts in some way.  We all...every one of us...have our "go to" in order to feel better about ourselves, to distract ourselves from the harsh realities of this world, or to numb whatever pain we might be feeling, whether it's physical, emotional, relational, or spiritual.  As Lynn liked to say, "Pain is my traveling teacher."  None of us will get out of this life without experiencing it, and some of us more so than others.  It's just life, and it's designed to be this way.   President Russell M. Nelson said..." Any addiction - be it gaming, debt, drugs, alcohol, anger, pornography, sex...

Recovery or Sobriety?

 "I'm beginning to understand and accept that turning my life over to a higher power, taking inventory, and making amends are not things I must do to earn love, but loving actions I do for myself because they will bring me the most joy and peace in my life.  God loves and accepts me as I am...but God gently encourages me to follow this path of recovery because it is the  most loving thing I can do."                                                                                           "Voices of Recovery" "Recognize you are here on assignment.  This is your life.  Live it well..."           Katherine Wolf Before we begin, you may read the title of this and think "I don't ha...

WORTHINESS...AND WORTH

  "Your worth is set.  Everything else is just experience."           Amy...on "Unashamed Unafraid" "Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God."           Doctrine and Covenants 18:10 I'm kind of picky about my car...I like to keep it clean.  It's frustrating sometimes!  We go through the carwash, get nice and clean, maybe even vacuum the interior.  Dry it off, use some tire shine on the tires, and really detail it.  Man, it's almost like new!  But...it just doesn't last.  As soon as I drive it to work and it sits outside in the parking lot for eight hours, and then after the trip home on the freeway, it's dusty, if not not dirty.  It was clean for one day...maybe less!  Even if I keep it locked in the garage, there is still a layer of dust that settles on it, and in no time it could be washed again.  And if it rains just a little bit, I end up with a car covered in br...

I AM...

"The dark does not destroy the light; it defines it.  It's our fear of the dark that casts out our joy into the shadows."           Brenee Brown "The truth will set you free."           Jesus Free from what, exactly?  And what truth?  Well, let's talk about that.  As a child growing up, did you ever hear "You should be ashamed of yourself!"  Actually, I don't ever remember hearing that, but for some reason I felt it.  Maybe some of you heard that a lot, and hearing that began to define how you felt about both yourself and others.  Or maybe you were just ignored. like you didn't matter.  Maybe you suffered some kind of abuse, and then felt that you were just a victim to other people, and maybe even to God.  We have all suffered some trauma, either "Big T" trauma or "small t" trauma...we cannot escape it.  I wrote earlier about the re-discovery of my identity...who I am really am...and how ...

BOUNDARIES...STAYING SAFE

  "That doesn't work for me."           Jerri Jorgensen "First, be charitable to others and myself - equally.  This includes giving others unconditional love-as Jesus would-no matter how much we might disagree with their choices.  It also means I must love and respect myself. "Second, God gave me a voice, and he expects me to use it appropriately and respectfully, with the guidance of the Spirit... "Third and most important, God's love is perfect, absolute and unconditional, and the Savior's redemptive Grace is real."           Anita Stansfield     "I Can Choose Joy with God" Disclaimer...I write this only from my personal experience and study.  Obviously I'm not a therapist or an expert, and I like to say that the only things I know for sure are what I've experienced.  So...I am only an expert in my own recovery. In our Thursday night Addiction Recovery Program couple's meetings, we use two manual...

THE DAILY SHOW...PRACTICE

"The more I practice, the luckier I get...there's always stuff to work on.  You're never really there."            Tiger Woods "You don't show up on game day and expect to be great.  Greatness happens in practice.  You have to expect things of yourself before you can do them."            Michael Jordan "There is a pursuit that is worthy of devotion...it is something our souls long for; the life we've always wanted.  It is the quest for what might be called a well-ordered heart... "When the heart is well-ordered, we are not only increasingly free from sin, but also increasingly free from the desire to sin.  If the heart were truly well-ordered, we would love people so much we would not want to deceive or manipulate or envy them.  We would be transformed from the inside out."           John Ortberg A well-ordered heart?  Sounds a lot like recovery to me, but it also soun...