Welcome to Recovery, Light, and Life...
I'm Chris Epson...
If you are new here, you might be thinking "I really don't have an addiction. Why would I be interested in reading this?" That's a great question, and the answer is...you probably do. Everyone has something they go to when life gets too hard, when the stress and pain is too much, when they just don't feel good enough, or when they are just living unconsciously. It might only be diet Coke, romance novels, gaming, or food. Maybe it's anger. Maybe it's shopping. I believe that we are in recovery from mortality and all the challenges that come with it. Life is hard and it's intended to be. But...life is also full of joy and love and peace and progress and Grace and growth and deep relationship with God and other broken people just like us. So how do we experience more of that? If we are, in fact, all living in recovery, then you've come to the right place, because this is my story of recovery. Recovery, hope, Grace, miracles, forgiveness, and learning to live in alignment with my Savior Jesus Christ and His Atonement. As you'll see, when I was pulled from the pit and saved, I didn't now what recovery looked like, but it soon became a spiritual journey for me, and now I know that's the only way continuing recovery works.
So I'm in recovery from pornography and sex addiction. I know there are people who believe that those are not addictions, just choices. And that's true...poor choice after poor choice after poor choice...will inevitably become that thing which robs us of our ability to choose. So I can affirm that they are, in fact, addictions, as insidious and dark as any addiction to drugs, alcohol, gambling, or anything else. At least they became that way for me. I struggled with this for over fifty years when it turned into something much worse, and at the rock bottom of my struggle I had lost my ability to choose...I was "past feeling". But I was saved, literally. And to go from darkness to light has been the greatest blessing of my life.
I am married to an amazing, very forgiving wife, Marilyn. We have two grown children, Kristen and Adam, and six awesome grandchildren. We are both from California, and have lived many years in the Salt Lake Valley of Utah. We are Christians, and members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Why is this important? As I said before, we've discovered that true recovery has come as we have opened ourselves to, and accepted, the atoning sacrifice of our Savior Jesus Christ, and the Grace and love that comes with that. We have discovered that above all else, He is the Healer, and we all need healing.
So...it's my intention to share my...our... story with you. But most importantly, to share with you what I have learned and experienced in recovery. Thus far it's been a fun, difficult, amazing, uneven, and sometimes treacherous journey...yes, it is a journey...and the path is sometimes wide open and smooth, and is sometimes narrow, winding, filled with rocks, boulders, and fallen branches. The views from the top of the mountains are incredible, but so often I've had to go through the valleys, and make a difficult climb to begin to climb again. But it has all been worth the effort!
We all have a story, and each and every person's story has power. When our story leads us eventually to Grace...that is where the power truly is. My hope is all this may help you in some small way, because I know it helps me to share my story...
I'd like to include some links that may be helpful...Desert Solace and Desert Solace Outpatient program, as well our amazing therapist, David Thompson.
Feel free to leave a comment, or contact me at chrisepson72@gmail.com
https://desertsolace.com/
https://DesertSolaceOutpatient.com
https://www.addorecovery.com/therapists/david-thompson
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ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your story and beginning your written journey that chronicles, at least in part, your suffering and the meaning and purpose you've found. This will no doubt inspire and encourage those who also know the depth of the feelings you describe, and I'm sure it will also offer hope that you can overcome, even when it's a lifetime of challenge and struggle. Keep these posts coming and thank you for your honesty and courage! You're a good man : ) And Marilyn is a good woman!
ReplyDeleteChris, you are a great man. I just got around to reading this. We have much in common, besides being companieros back in the day.
ReplyDeleteGod Bless
Ron