"Voices of Recovery"
"Recognize you are here on assignment. This is your life. Live it well..."
Katherine Wolf
Before we begin, you may read the title of this and think "I don't have an addiction. Why or how does this possibly apply to me?" But it does. In his great talk in October, 2023, entitled "Think Celestial," President Russell M. Nelson said this..."As you think celestial, you will find yourself avoiding anything that robs you of your agency. Any addiction - be it gaming, gambling, debt, drugs, alcohol, anger, pornography, sex, or even food - offends God. Why? Because your obsession becomes your god. You look to it rather than to Him for solace." Debt? Food? Control? Anger? Really, he could have compiled a much longer list than he did. How about cell phones? Social media? Romance novels? Diet Coke? Sports? Shopping? And many, many more...
Here's the point...we, you and I, are all in recovery. We are in recovery from mortality and from our tendencies of greed, lust, envy, anger, jealousy, comparison, shame, sorrow, victimhood, and so much more. Why? Elder Brook P. Hales said in his talk "Mortality Works!" that "We must expect to be schooled and taught to pass through the refiner's fire - sometimes to our utter limits. To completely avoid the problems, challenges, and difficulties of this world would be to sidestep the process that is truly necessary for mortality to work." So...as we talk about recovery and sobriety, you are invited to be honest with yourself. What is it that is bogging you down, wasting your time, and disconnecting you from yourself, from God, and from other people. What might be causing you to see the world through clouded eyes and not face reality square in the face? What might you be running from? Because I believe we do not have to be an "addict" in the classic sense to be addicted to any number of things in our lives. We are all living in recovery, and recovery and healing is exactly what the gospel of Jesus Christ is about.
As we discuss the recovery path, imagine your own path. For me, the recovery path, the covenant path, the disciple's path, and my life's path are all the same...
Let's be clear about one thing...recovery and sobriety are not the same thing. Sobriety is certainly a part of recovery...a crucial part...but sobriety is not recovery. Being sober simply means not using or not acting out. Sobriety is only a change of behavior, and as we've learned before, our behaviors are just the leaves on the addiction tree, not the roots. We can certainly be sober and not be living in recovery.
Recovery is a lifestyle. It's living in such a way as to transform us...to become someone new and different. Recovery is a change of heart, a change of heart that is softer, gentler, and much stronger than the one we have lived with for so long. It's a path that, as we walk it intentionally and truthfully, will heal us along the way. As I've written before, the recovery path is not a freeway, is not a two lane road, but is in fact a path, and on that path we'll find all kinds of obstacles and pitfalls. The recovery path is not just a nice walk in the woods, but rather involves...and requires...climbing some pretty steep mountains and spending time in some pretty deep valleys. It winds through difficult terrain and is sometimes blocked with boulders or fallen trees. The effort to walk this path is tremendous and never happens without paying strict attention to where we are are and where we are headed. It requires the tools we acquire along the way...things learned and practiced in meetings, in personal study and practice, in therapy, and for me, during my time at Desert Solace. As a Christian, I walk this path yoked to Jesus Christ, because without Him I'll so easily get lost.
So obviously, if we are becoming someone new in our daily recovery walk, sobriety will follow. It will happen. We don't have to "white knuckle" it, but we can "have no more disposition to do evil" like King Benjamin's people in the book of Mosiah. I love that..."no more disposition." What does that look like? Not tempted. Not triggered. It means I don't have to resist the urge to act out, because I just don't experience that urge any longer. It means I wouldn't even consider it again, and that I can share my story, talk about my past poor choices, recognize where I've been and where I am now, and feel no shame around that at all. It means I can feel pain, disappointment, failure, stress, and any emotion that comes with life and not even consider acting out to relieve the pain or distract me from reality. It means, as Nephi wrote..."nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted." Recovery is, as Shane Scott always says "facing reality at all costs." And it's a much, much better way to live!
But...if we have not reached that point in our recovery yet, that's okay. We just keep walking the path, and we don't quit or give up. We climb the mountain, we climb over the boulders in our way, or we use our tools to cut through the fallen tree in our path. We do not turn around and go back. We don't sit down and refuse to go forward. We just keep going, and as we do that we will experience a peace and joy that will probably be new and strange for us, but really, really sweet. We never have to wait to get to the end of the journey to feel that peace that "passeth all understanding." We do not have to wait to experience the healing that comes with walking the path with the Savior. If He healed the blind man, the woman with the issue of blood, or the lame man at the pool of Bethesda, He can heal me and He can heal you. Admittedly, for most of us, the healing happens a little more slowly along the way, but it does happen, and when we begin to experience it we want more, and we are willing to do the work...our part...to experience it. As Katherine Wolf wrote, "We don't need to be cured. We just need to be healed," and we are only healed by Grace...
Recovery is work. As Mark Stuart wrote..."God cannot direct the steps of those who refuse to be in motion. We stare at the path knowing not what's required, only that it's more than we're capable of. It's designed that way. We need only the wisdom to begin..." But in the midst of our recovery work...attending meetings, therapy, journaling, studying, working the steps, meditating, praying, attending church, and more...recovery is really just acknowledging our weakness, holding onto hope, and crying out every day to Jesus "HELP!" It is constant and glorious and joyous repentance...every day. It is living with intention and purpose and honesty, without excuses or justification for any poor choices. Richard Paul Evans wrote...'Do not be discouraged. Sometimes success is better measured in intention than inches." When we look back at where we've been we can experience real joy and peace in where we are and where we are headed, even when the going is truly difficult.
Once again, as we intentionally live a recovery life...a gospel life...continuing sobriety will be the result. If, on the other hand, our focus is only on stopping a behavior or not acting out, it will not happen and it will not last, and there will be no joy on that path. Elder Dale G. Renlund has said that repentance...or recovery...without the Savior is simply "miserable behavior modification."
Richard Paul Evans sums up beautifully what recovery is like..."Life (recovery) is difficult. The sooner we accept this, the sooner we can get on living it. Be grateful for your challenges. Without great mountains we cannot reach great heights and we were born to reach great heights. Never give up on your dreams (or your recovery). Too many in this world stop at speed bumps mistaking them for walls. Most obstacles are just stepping-stones on the path to success, and failure is merely a temporary space on the gameboard of life waiting for the next roll of the dice."
And finally, this from therapist and pastor Jay Stringer..."Repentance (recovery) is not feeling guilty and doing our best not to make another mistake; it is turning to see the prodigal God who waits for our return so that a party can commence."
Someday there will be a party, but we don't have to wait until then. We can celebrate now as we walk the recovery path intentionally, purposefully, and joyfully...
There is so much wisdom and thought in this post. Keep it coming, compañero!
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