Katherine Wolf
"We each have a path in front of us that leads to our biggest, best, and highest purpose. It's the dream we've been given but are not yet prepared for. We stare at the path knowing not what's required, only that it's more than we're capable of. It's designed that way."
Mark Stuart "Losing My Voice to Find It"
"We recover loudly so others don't suffer in silence."
Brian
We each have a story, and that story has great power. Of course, you might say that's crazy, that your particular story is of no consequence, and that it doesn't matter...to anyone. But it matters to you, and even though you may not think so, it matters to God. Your story is what got you to where you are now. But know this...where you are now is not your ultimate destination. It's just a moment in time, it's just today. There is a lot more in store for you, and for me, and for each of us, and beginning right now we each get to choose what that might look like going forward.
Three weeks ago Marilyn and I had the opportunity to spend almost five hours of a Wednesday evening attending the recording of three episodes of the podcast "Unashamed Unafraid." I love their motto...
"Living unashamed of sexual addiction recovery and unafraid of coming unto Christ for healing." Living unashamed. Without shame and without embarrassment. Holding our head high while being one hundred percent accountable for our stories and our lives. Acknowledging the things we have done and the wreckage we may have left behind, but knowing that what we have done and what we do now does not necessarily define us. Although we are shaped by our experiences and defined by our suffering, simply put, we are not what we do. We are much, much more. And I believe that in this life we have only the smallest glimpse of who that really is...and can be. So our stories, our experiences, our suffering, our mistakes, and our successes all worked together to get us here, now. And as I have written before, all we can do with our past is to learn from it. We cannot change it.
That Wednesday evening was special. We were able to hear the stories of three couples who we love and respect dearly and are traveling the journey of recovery in their own ways and on their own paths. In the first episode recorded that night, Brian said "We recover loudly so others don't suffer in silence." I love that! What does recovering loudly look like? Living unashamed. Bold. Unafraid. Humble and strong at the same time. Willing to be vulnerable. Completely accountable.
So why do we love to hear these stories? Why do we love to listen to podcasts, of all kinds on different subjects, where people share their experiences and the insights they have gained as a result? I believe it's in our nature. We are built for connection, and those stories connect us as human beings and as brothers and sisters, especially those of us in recovery. As we listen to their stories we see the possibilities...the possibilities for success, joy, and redemption, for us. Really, if they can live in recovery, then why can't we? The short answer? We can!
Why are twelve step meetings so powerful and so effective? Because we get to share our stories with each other, even if that story is only what happened yesterday. We listen with empathy and love and non-judgement, and we share without fear of judgement or reprisal. No posing. No faking it. Facing reality head on. Being impeccable with our word. Once again, each story shared in those meetings is important and powerful...and sacred.
Marilyn and I have visited David, a wonderful therapist, for the past seven years, and we still see him. This therapy has been a big part of our recovery. Why? Because it allows us another way to share our stories, our triumphs, our mistakes, our pain, our regrets, our anger, and other issues with a trusted, knowledgeable person, and a trained professional. But most importantly, it allows us, once again, to get all of that out into the Universe. To be honest and truthful, and to unburden ourselves as we share with someone else. For most of my life I was never willing to share what I was thinking, feeling, and doing with anyone, and it eventually led me to a very dark place.
As we listened to the stories of Brian and Alicia, Jacob and Trichelle, and Matt and Natalie we were reminded that each of these couples, and each of these individuals, are walking miracles. Each of them has been saved from themselves and pulled from the pit of addiction, trauma, and despair. They each have an amazing story to share, and they are willing to do that. Each of them has experienced the healing that can only come through the Grace of Jesus Christ. And by listening to their stories, I can know that I am not alone in my weakness, past mistakes, addictions, and healing. I feel connection with them and even more love for them, and for a Savior who has in fact saved them, and wants to do the same for me.
Of course, the scriptures are for the most part stories, and those stories are used to teach us both doctrine and principles. Every scripture story, whether it's Moses, Abraham, Jesus, Paul, or Nephi, teach us something and provide a conduit of connection to our shared past and great future. They show us how God has worked in so many different lives, and that He still does that today. If we read those scriptural stories with insight, "likening" them to ourselves, we can experience incredible power that will bless our own lives, and they become a huge part of how God teaches us and shepherds us.
One of our favorite things is to share our story and what we've both learned and experienced in recovery. Once again, why? Why would we be so open about a subject that is so often surrounded by shame and fear, and the whispered "We don't talk about that?" Especially in church. Short answer? Because it needs to be talked about. The only way to overcome darkness is to shine light on it, and if we are not willing to have that honest discussion, addiction simply continues to thrive in the dark. The adversary wants us to keep quiet and to keep our secrets...
Last Friday we again had the opportunity to talk at family weekend at Desert Solace, and it's hard to express how much I love that place and how much I love sharing our story and answering questions from those who are just beginning their own journeys of recovery. And then this past Sunday we were able to speak at the Addiction Recovery Program monthly fireside again. It's interesting that we receive many comments about how "brave" or "courageous" we are in sharing what we've been through, but we don't feel brave at all. We just feel blessed...and excited to share all of it. Once again, why? During my last week at Desert Solace, I had a very vivid dream one morning that I was speaking in front of some fathers and sons, sharing my story of addiction. I woke up with tears coming down my cheeks and my pillow was wet...I'll never forget it. Somehow, even though I was only beginning recovery, I was being called to share. And I love doing it. There is almost nothing that brings me more joy that to be able to share both the darkness and the light of my story, and to watch others as they wend their way along the recovery path.
I know that, as Mark Stuart wrote, that my path is more than I'm capable of. It is. in fact, designed that way. Because if I could do it alone, I wouldn't need a Savior. It's been said that the worst thing we can say to Jesus is "I'm good." I've got this. But...I don't "got this!" I never have and I never will. It is only through Him, because of Him, and with Him that I can daily navigate the journey of my life. Each of our stories is ever evolving, and as we choose daily to live in the light...His Light...our experiences can be shaped by what is most important to us, and Who is most important to us.
Your story has power! It doesn't matter what your story looks like or sounds like. It may not be about addiction, or sin, or secrets, or abuse. But it no doubt has some struggle as part of the narrative. It certainly has failures as well as triumphs, successes and disappointments. Whatever it holds, don't be afraid of it, don't be embarrassed by it, don't feel shame around it, and do share it...appropriately and timely. In the right place and with the right people. You will know when, where, and with whom. And you will be a blessing to others with all you have experienced...yours is a great story! Live unashamed...
Comments
Post a Comment