John 1:14
"Wherefore, redemption cometh in and through the Holy Messiah; for he is full of grace and truth."
2 Nephi 2:6
"Gratitude begins when a man stops treating grace as rare and starts recognizing it as reality."
Chris Harper
It is so easy for anyone, especially someone with an addiction...to anything...to feel that they are undeserving of any help, especially Heavenly Help. It's easy to feel that they don't deserve Divine Forgiveness. Here's the problem. I believe we completely misunderstand both Grace and God's Love. In 1st John, we read that "God is love." During my years of recovery I've come to believe that's true...He IS love. It is who He is, and it is His nature. Maybe that is what makes Him God. So...I choose to see and experience Him through the lens of perfect love. All my scripture study, all my church experience, all my recovery experience, and all my interaction with those around me happens through that lens. His love. Why do we love Him? Because He loved us first.
And because of that love, we get to experience Grace in new ways...every day. We get to choose to "live in the grace of the day." The entire point of Grace is that we DO NOT deserve it. We CANNOT deserve it. We CANNOT earn it. It is NOT transactional in any way.
Now, there are probably thousands of books and other writings on the subject of Grace, with all kinds of philosophical and theological opinions and perspectives on the subject, and I certainly am not a scholar...no credentials at all...but I have only lived experience. My lived experience, and the lived experience of many others who have shared their own stories, is that Grace is a free gift. It comes as result of the Atonement of our Lord Jesus Christ and is available to, and for, everyone.
Six years ago, in June 2020, in one of my early blog posts I wrote about Grace. Since then I have experienced more, and continue to, as we're told in section 93 of the Doctrine and Covenants, grow "grace to grace." If you know my story, you know that I didn't ask for Grace. I did nothing to deserve Grace. In fact, I was running away from Grace. I was sick in so many ways and wanted out of my life. But, as Elder Kearon reminded us, God was in "relentless pursuit" of me. I didn't ask for Grace. To quote Toby Mac, "It was the last thing on my mind....
"When love broke through
You found me in the darkness
Wanderin' through the desert.
I was a hopeless fool...
I did all that I do to undo me
But You loved me enough to pursue me..."
That's a beautiful description of Grace! I was stopped in my tracks, brought home, and then given the opportunity to heal, to learn, to experience forgiveness, and to live a much different life than I had. That's called redemption. And it happens only through, and because of, the Grace of Jesus Christ. Once again, there was no deserving. There was no obedience. There was even no desire for it! So I ask myself often, why does He love me so much? Why save my life? How could He forgive me so readily and so completely? It is Who He is.
I could not save myself. I could not even see how sick I was, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I knew I was broken, but I thought I was hopeless. I had given up and knew I was going to Hell, but there was nothing I could do to change or to get better. I ran away and Grace found me...
Growing up in the Church I don't remember ever hearing about Grace. I think we were afraid of it, like somehow the idea of Grace would just let us off the hook. We had to "work out" our own salvation. "Cheap grace" was out greatest fear, because of course God loves effort and work and busyness, and we believed that Christ would make up the difference in the end, after "all that we can do." I grew up thinking that God's love had to be earned and that it was really easy to disappoint Him. He was a tough, stern Father, and although Jesus loved me and was somehow on my side, I still had to "be good" to earn my way into Heaven. But as long as my good works outweighed my mistakes and my sins, I'd be okay in the end. It was a guessing game, and as I got older I knew I was losing.
In our Bible Dictionary we are told that "grace cannot suffice without total effort on the part of the recipient...This grace is an enabling power that allows men and women to lay hold on eternal life and exaltation AFTER they have expended their own best efforts." I'm sorry, but that is just so wrong. Really..."own best efforts?" "Total effort?" Can any one of us say that we have given 100% to living the gospel and obeying God's commandments? Of course not. And how can we even define our "own best efforts?" And all this confusion comes from one simple verse in 2 Nephi 25:23...a verse that really doesn't mean what we think it says.
In his book, "After All We Can Do," Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf writes..."We are not saved 'because' of all that we can do. We choose to receive Christ's grace; we don't earn it. Salvation cannot be bought with the currency of obedience; it is purchased by the blood of the Son of God (See Acts 20:28). Have any of us done all that we can do? Does God wait until we've expended every effort before He sill intervene in our lives with His saving grace?"
Once again, Grace is not earned. It is given as a gift. We just have to open it...
Adam Miller writes in the book "Original Grace"...
"A grace-filled partnership with Christ is the original plan, full stop - not an unfortunate intervention necessitated by my failure to save myself. Further, there aren't two kinds of perfection. The only kind of perfection is perfection-in-Christ. Perfection results from growing deeper into the grace of a divine partnership so that, as Christ put it, we 'all may be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us.' And finally, in my view, sin is not what happens when I fail tpo save myself. Sin is what happens when I try to save myself. Sin is what happens when I abandon God and reject his original offer of a grace-filled partnership." As Adam says, "Grace is NOT God's backup plan." It IS the plan.
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