Steve Shields
"Ask people what they must do to get to heaven, and most reply "be good." Jesus's stories contradict that answer. All we must do is cry "help!"
Phillip Yancey
No doubt you've heard the term "rock bottom" used before when people are talking about their lowest point of addiction, and the event that finally kick started their beginning recovery. There are all kinds of ways to describe what rock bottom looks like, feels like, and why it, and only it, can initiate change in not just our behavior but change in our hearts. Rock bottom sucks. It hurts. It hurts so badly that the fear of change and the fear of being honest and the fear of being exposed for what we are and have been now looks like the only way out. It's full of shame, and the pain of rock bottom is worse than the fear. Rock bottom is just what it sounds like...it just can't get any worse. But, then sometimes it can and sometimes it does. Rock bottom will keep coming at us if we are not willing to recognize it and turn around. We've all heard stories of addicts who have lost everything...their jobs, homes, marriages, families, fortunes, and futures. Some have lost their lives. And it is so hard to see it when you are in the middle of it. That pain blinds us to the truth of our situation, and blinds us to the possibilities of future peace and joy. Rock bottom looks different for everyone, and no two stories or experiences are the same. It is ultimately what gets us to turn from darkness to light...
The quote above tells us that rock bottom is a beautiful gift...for every person. Everyone! Even you. As I spent time in the scriptures the past few weeks, especially the Book of Mormon, it dawned on me that it is not just addicts who hit rock bottom. It is not just addicts who NEED a rock bottom experience. Every single one of us must, at some point in our lives, "be stripped of any and all pride, ego, and false responsibility. To be left with nothing but possibility...Every man (and woman)...could benefit from the raw, pure, and radically humbling experience of being left with nothing to realize, that everything is possible." Of course, you might be saying, "What? Who, me?!"
Let's look at the awesome address by King Benjamin in the book of Mosiah. He calls his people "unworthy creatures" and "beggars." They view themselves "in their own carnal state, even less than the dust of the earth." By today's standards, this was not a "feel good" speech, right? But, in fact, it was exactly that! This was his people's rock bottom moment, when they woke up and realized they could not do this by themselves, without Jesus Christ. This was when they realized they were stuck...stuck in the mess of mortality, with no way out except through the Savior. So what did they do? Give up? Quit? Go home and be depressed and anxious for an uncertain future? Did they get angry at King Benjamin and start throwing stones at him? Did they trash him on social media? NO. As Phillip Yancey says above, they cried out for help. "And they cried aloud with one voice, saying: O have mercy, and apply the atoning blood of Jesus Christ that we may receive a forgiveness of our sins, and our hearts may be purified..."
And the result? ..."The Spirit of the Lord came upon them, and they were filled with joy, having received a remission of their sins, and having peace of conscience, because of the exceeding faith they had in Jesus Christ..." How did this joy and peace happen? Because they asked for help at their rock bottom moment, and they had faith. That's it. Period. For too many of us this sounds way too easy...there must be more to it than that. What if there isn't? We know in recovery there is work to do, but we cannot ever successfully do that work alone, without Jesus, and it all begins with asking for help, and having some faith...and some hope. All of that will lead to a change of heart, and lasting joy.
This is not the only place in scripture we're told about a rock bottom moment. How about Enos, also in the Book of Mormon? He's hunting in the woods and is apparently really worried about his own sins, whatever they might have been. And he's worried enough that he feels this overwhelming need to pray and to ask forgiveness, and he prays all day and all night. He had hit rock bottom and really, really wanted relief! He says he remembered his dad talking about the "joy of the saints," and he wanted some of that joy. Finally, after that really long prayer...Enos calls it a "wrestle"...he is told his sins are forgiven. Just like that! So he asks how that just happened. That's awesome, right? He can't just say "thanks God," but wants to know how that's done. The answer? "Because of your faith in Christ." There we are again...rock bottom, cry for help, faith, relief, joy, peace.
So then I began thinking about others in scripture who had experienced their rock bottoms. Of course, Paul did. As Saul, he was a hot mess, full of anger and hate, persecuting Christians and trying to destroy the new church, when Jesus showed up Himself to turn him around. Paul's rock bottom was, I'm guessing, when he realized what he had done and who he was persecuting, and no doubt felt incredible regret and guilt about it. So what does he do? He asks, "What wilt Thou have me do?" "And straightway he preached Christ in the synagogues..." Paul's recovery was immediate and permanent, but came only after he had hit his personal rock bottom. He spent the rest of his life teaching grace and faith.
Peter? The chief apostle, who had spent three years walking alongside Jesus, listening to Him preach, watching Him heal, and no doubt having some incredible learning experiences and conversations of his own with the Savior. But at the end, when the going got tough, he denied knowing Jesus. Not once, but three times. He's gotten a lot of criticism for that over the past two thousand years or so, but how many of us would not have done the same thing? Fear can cause us to do unimaginable things, and there is no doubt Peter never imagined this, even though Jesus had predicted it. We're told that Peter "went out and wept bitterly." Doesn't that sound like a rock bottom moment? Can you imagine how he felt right then? So...some time later, after spending many days with the resurrected Lord, we find him in Acts, leading the church, performing miracles, and it seems that he is a new person...strong and confident. Could it be that the anguish of his rock bottom moment eventually propelled him forward to become someone who apparently had no fear? It's obvious he had received forgiveness and Grace.
How about Jonah? He tried to run away from God, but that didn't really work. But certainly we can look at that as a rock bottom moment for him. Abraham? He was asked to sacrifice his only son, and was willing to do. I don't know that we can truly imagine his pain in saying yes to that request from God. Adam and Eve's rock bottom? Leaving the Garden of Eden. It was a huge change, but they didn't quit, and proved their faith and their faithfulness going forward. Even Nephi, who was the poster boy for obedience and faith, at one point called himself "wretched." And of course, Alma the younger. Son of a prophet, who for some reason had a very hard heart, full of hate for Christ and His people. And once again, Grace stopped him in his tracks, and he had a rock bottom moment of his own.
Many years later, as he told his story to his son, his description of his rock bottom sounds familiar to many of us..."But I was racked with eternal torment, for my soul was harrowed up to the greatest degree and racked with all my sins...I was tormented with the pains of hell." Fortunately for Alma, the story didn't end there. Much like Enos, he remembered what his father had taught about Jesus Christ, and he cried within his heart, "O Jesus, thou Son of God, have mercy on me, who am in the gall of bitterness, and am encircled about by the everlasting chains of death." In other words..."Help!" Then...as soon as he did this, he "could remember my pains no more; yea, I was harrowed up by the memory of my sins no more." And what followed? "And oh, what joy, and what marvelous light did I behold; yea, my soul was filled with joy as exceeding as was my pain!" Sound familiar? The pain and realization of rock bottom, cry for help, faith, joy, light, and peace. And above all, a mighty change of heart...Alma's life would never be the same after that.
So here's the question...why do we see these stories of rock bottom so often in scripture? I believe it's because it's necessary, and it's necessary for every person who is willing to experience redemption, recovery, and salvation through Jesus Christ. Each one of us is addicted to something, whether we want to admit it or not. And each of us is certainly attached to our "things." Things like houses, cars, careers, our favorite sports team, our school, status, politics, church callings, looking like the perfect family even when we're not...or a complete mess. That list of things we attach ourselves to is endless, and much of it is "posing"...pretending to be something or someone we are not. So many of us are faking life, and we do it to hide our real problems, our own insecurities, and with the fear that honesty will cost us some of the "things" that we think are so important. We are attached to our feelings and emotions as well. No doubt you know that person that is not happy unless they are complaining about something, or are a victim to something or someone. They are only happy if they are unhappy. Of course that makes no sense, but we see it all the time, right? So many of us hold onto feelings of resentment, anger, fear, victimhood, uncertainty, nostalgia for the past, regrets from the past, and even hate, and will not let them go, because we do not know who we'd would be without them. We hold on to our opinions no matter who they hurt or offend, because we "know" we are right...about everything. Yes, it's insane, but we see it all around us. And we work tirelessly to avoid that rock bottom moment that will bring us to our knees...
But Jesus said "Blessed are the pure in heart." Well, who's that? Maybe it's people who are real. People who are not attached to things, and who are not posers. People who don't fake life.
"Blessed are the peacemakers." "Blessed are the meek." "Blessed are the poor in spirit." How do we get there? How do we become that? We have to go through the rock bottom before He lifts us up to higher ground. We will not experience real Grace without crying "HELP!" Once again, that moment will look different for each of us. It might be the rock bottom of addiction, it might be the death of a loved one, it might be divorce, it might be disease or severe illness, it might be job loss, it might be abuse at the hands of someone else, it might be the infidelity of a spouse. It might be anything that shakes us to the core, that gets us in the water where we feel like we are drowning like Peter, and it might be that event that humbles us to see ourselves "as less than the dust of the earth." Whatever it is, and whenever it happens, it gives us the opportunity for change, redemption, and renewal. We then get to see things as they really are, and we get to stop pretending everything is all right when it is not. We get to live Step One, where we admit our life is unmanageable and we need help. Sometimes that is an event, and sometimes it is a process over time, but I have come to learn that it's necessary. The worst thing we can ever say to God is "I'm good. I've got this." Because when we say this, we're saying we don't need a Savior...
My friend Christian Smith said, "Rock bottom is when I didn't want to dig anymore." Digging is hard, exhausting work, and we wonder why so many people are so tired all the time. Simply put, we don't have to keep digging, and we can experience what Enos, Paul, Peter, Nephi, Alma, the people of King Benjamin, and so many others have experienced. Healing. Real joy. Peace. Redemption. Life begins to flow better, more easily. When stuff happens...and it does!...I don't have to get wrapped around the axle of resentment, pain, and anger. I get to live a life of acceptance instead of resistance. But I can only do that yoked with Jesus Christ.
In the book "Voices of Recovery," it is summed up very well...
"In my experience, the forces at work in any situation are as varied and powerful as a winter storm, and I can mange these forces about as well as I can a typical blizzard. In recovery I am free to let go of my fear and my need to control situations that are beyond my power. I can then allow life to unfold in its own way and know that my needs will be met. Perhaps more importantly, I can then put my energies into those things over which I do have control, like my well-being, my responsibilities, my life. Allowing things to be as they are is not necessarily a sign of weakness or passivity. It can be a sign of strength and of confidence in my Higher Power."
I am just a weak person with a very strong...and loving...God. And from my rock bottom has come new understanding, deliverance, redemption, relationship, and opportunities I could never have imagined. That's just how God works...
Thanks for that Chris. Affirmations and exercise especially touched me. Overall a great testament that God is present and active and has given us the tools we need.
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