Morgan Snyder
"Be quick, but don't hurry."
John Wooden
In his wonderful book, "Becoming a King," Morgan Snyder writes..."Western culture is...a gospel of progress and the presumed supremacy of reason, information, instant gratification, technological advancement, and above all else, convenience." We live in a world of NOW. Drive through pharmacies, fast food restaurants, banks, and more. It just takes too long and too much effort to get out of our car. And if we don't want to leave the house, there is always Uber Eats, Door Dash, and of course, Amazon. Whenever I want a new book, or a new shirt, or...really, anything...I can order it and it'll be at my door in a day or two. We really do live in a world of NOW!
Impatience is at an all time high. If my internet is too slow I'm upset. 4K has evolved to 5K and soon it will be 10K...faster and faster and faster. If the curbside service at McDonald's takes more than five minutes I'm going a little crazy. Simply put, we are in a hurry. We live in a hurry. Traffic jam? Ugh!! Does it really matter if I get home from work ten minutes later than normal? Apparently it does, because the first words out of my mouth when I walk in the door are "the traffic was horrible!" I say it...and feel it...even though I know better, because I am the traffic.
Even in our church culture busyness is a virtue. There is work to be done, and there is no time to waste! Missionary work, ministering work. Callings. Lessons to prepare. Meals to cook. People to visit. Meetings to plan. All good and necessary work, but sometimes piled on top of each other it can be too much. The beehive is the state symbol here in Utah. Why? Because we hold busyness up as a virtue. Work and more work. But...in all our work, and in all our busy, and in all our hurry there is often an underlying current of stress, anger, and resentment. We get tired, but rest doesn't seem like a possible option. We work extra hours so we can take a vacation, and then come home and begin that whole rat race again. And many times we feel like we just can't do it all and that we're just not good enough. Strong enough. Tough enough. And we just want to quit. And some of us do. We live in a world of endless possibilities, but so often live life small because we become so distracted and so stressed we just don't see those possibilities. I know I did as an addict...for many, many years.
Phil Stutz and Barry Michels write in their book "The Tools" that hyperactivity is "usually just another form of avoidance" which people use "to distract themselves from inner feelings - of terror, failure, or vulnerability. As a result, they can never relax; it's as if they constantly hear footsteps behind them and can't stop running." And Morgan Snyder talks about "Our lives exceeding the capacity of our souls...When the current of culture becomes the prevailing force in our life and we give consent to a gospel of now, we set our soul within a habitat that simply isn't in alignment with how we were designed to thrive."
Let's be clear here though...doing nothing and having no purpose will NOT help recovery, long term or short term. It's not healthy...physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually. Purpose is essential to recovery, and to life, and a huge part of our journey is discovering what makes our heart come alive, and then actually doing it! There is certainly work to be done. Recovery, and life well lived, requires effort and work. But the other end of that spectrum...incessant busyness...does not help fuel recovery either, and is just as unhealthy. Some recovering addicts believe that if they can just keep busy their triggers will go away, and they can live sober lives. But remember...sobriety is not recovery. Recovery is about balance, about healthy living, and about a higher purpose than just being sober.
I've written about distractions before, about our tendency to drift with whatever current we find ourselves caught in. That current can be at work, at home, on the news, on social media, and even at church. It's too easy to lose focus, to lose our intention, and to live unconsciously. Yes, we're busy. We have stuff to do...a lot of stuff. And, of course, it's all important and demanding of our time and effort. And no doubt most of it is "good" stuff...worthwhile and important. But really, is it? What can we say "no" to? I've learned that saying "no"...or as Jerri Jorgensen likes to say, "That doesn't work for me"...can open me up to an amazing new life with incredible new opportunities that I never saw before. I've learned that God has a much larger life planned for me...and for each of us...that we can step into only when we choose to say "no" to some of our busyness and distractions, lose our fear, get intentional, get very real, and begin to see things as they really are. And as they really can be.
When we are too busy, too much in a hurry, too distracted, and too invested in what we think we need to look good to our spouse, co-workers, boss, or friends we simply lose the capacity to listen. To be still. To feel. To be real. And we know that in recovery we must "feel to heal." When we are too busy "posing"...faking life...we are in serious trouble.
More from Morgan Snyder..."Attempting to live at a pace and a rhythm that denies the life of the...soul will result in great loss or - worse - disastrous consequences. A life without care for the soul is simply unsustainable." This is especially true for a life in recovery!
Jesus said..."Don't look for shortcuts to God. The market is flooded with surefire, easygoing formulas for a successful life that can be practiced in your spare time. Don't fall for that stuff, even though crowds of people do." Matthew 7: 13-14 (Msg) It seems there are no shortcuts with God, and while we've been told that His yoke is light (and it is!), it's only light because he's partnering with us in taking it. If we are truly serious about stepping into the larger life God has in store for us, we can't be in a hurry. It will take time. Maybe a lifetime. It will take effort and require real work and sacrifice. It will take patience...a lot of patience. Life...and especially recovery life...is not like Burger King. We're not getting it "my way" and we're not necessarily getting it right now. But little by little, over time, it will come...if we just don't quit.
One of my personal heroes, the legendary coach John Wooden always told his teams to "be quick, but don't hurry." What exactly does that mean? This advice applies not just to basketball but to life as well. He said..."You have to know what to do, but you have to be quick to do it or you might not get to it at all. I think that's important in most everything. Don't hurry. You make mistakes when you hurry. Be under control. I want quickness under control. Otherwise you'll have activity without achievement." And Coach Wooden always believed quickness was the result of preparation. What does being quick look like in life? Quick to bring peace to a difficult situation. Quick to love other people. Quick to make choices that work. Quick to choose a daily intention and focus on it. Quick to be a light for those around us. Quick with a smile and a kind word. Quick to just sit and listen. Quick to realize when we've taken on too much. And all that, and more, comes from preparation...consistent foundational preparation. And a large part of that preparation is our choice...our ability...to slow down. To not hurry. To let go. To say "no." To be very aware of our choices and to live within the rhythm of what matters most.
John Ruskin wrote..."The highest reward for one's toil is not what he gets for it, but what he becomes by it." Of course, this is the opposite of addiction. As an addict I worked so hard to prove to myself, to God, to Marilyn, and to everyone else that I had what it takes. That I was worthy. That I was OK, even when I wasn't. And I was in a hurry to do that...all the time. Guess what...it didn't work. At work I would never really stop and listen, because in my head I had a very long list of stuff I had to do and I was in a hurry to do it. Everything was an emergency, and everything had to be done as soon as possible. The fear of not getting it done almost killed me...
Looking back I missed a lot. Time spent being still. Connection with myself. Listening to God. Connection with people. How many opportunities are missed when we hurry through life, checking boxes, maybe doing the "right things" for all the wrong reasons? In recovery I have learned to practice living in the present and to live in acceptance of what it is...now.
Yes, I still drive too fast. I'm still impatient when I have to wait too long...for just about anything. I can get upset when the foursome in front of us on the golf course is playing too slow. And I can go nuts when technology doesn't work. But as an addict I spent so much time hurrying to the next thing, and then the next, and then the next...and living in worry and regret. And it sucked... Now I am aware of it and know that it's possible to make a different choice. And I am so much better with the daily preparation that is the foundation of my continuing life in recovery.
More from Morgan Snyder..."Much of Satan's work can be exposed in this simple strategy: to disengage us from the present moment and therefore shift us away from the authentic and lifesaving union with God...
"Go slower. Do less. Love more."
The enemy's plan is for us to be hurried and distracted. Just look around...his plan is working very, very well. Add an addiction to that mix and we can get lost very easily. So many of us are...
So...choose rest. Choose adventure. Be open to what is. Enjoy play. Relax. Exercise stillness. Choose love, charity, and compassion...for others and for yourself. Nourish your heart and your mind with good things...books, music, scripture, movies, friends, family. Expand your mind and learn something new every day. And above all, intentionally practice gratitude. There is certainly work to do, although much of the time, less really is more. As we practice aligning ourselves with the rhythm of the Universe we will find our lives flowing freely and easily and will discover that larger life God has in store for us...
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